Channeling Multi-Dimensional Heartbreak to Discover the Silver Lining
How do I even begin? How do I explain how my life works, and how I move in the world, by intuition and the ways of spirit, rather than what can logically be seen at first?
I am an energy intuitive, a psychic channel with mediumistic abilities, a massage therapist and a creative. I FEEL before I see, or am shown or told through clairaudience and clairvoyance when I tune in.
It is often hard to comprehend to those so earthly bound who only believe in what they are conditioned to see or are told, not what they feel. If you are open to a different, elevated perspective on things and to higher realities–or at least the possibility something else far greater than many can perceive, exists, than I look forward to taking this journey with you.
I have witnessed more and more people waking up, just as I’m aware that many are choosing to stay asleep or in fear. It is at a soul level we make this choice. Each soul is on its own journey, hence the polarity and division we are experiencing in the world right now.
I’d like to combine my creative journey with my spiritual work, in hopes that it might just expand your life, vision, your heart, and way of moving in the world, too. I do not fit into a tiny box of other’s expectations of what is possible in this world, and I hope you can free yourself of self/societal imposed limitations too. Trust that I get the hesitation and fear of the unknown and going against what is imposed on us, as it took me a long time and a lot of work to open myself up to greater possibilities. But the deep sense of freedom is so liberating.
Such is the case with my @sips_from_the_edge profile on Instagram, which I often get asked about and why I started it. As much as it is about expressing myself in a different and freer way, it was also born of rejection. And not just any rejection, but rather multi-dimensional heartbreak.
Years ago, as I was leaning into my creative writing, turned automatic writing, turned channeling, I began to write a story of a man and his daughter who came to me in visions. And while I’ll save the full version for a book or movie one day, I will say that what I thought was a story became real life. After months of working with a writing partner, who lived in another country, I channeled that this man was an acquaintance of my writing partner, in that same country.
In my vision, the daughter was four years old, but in real life, she was still in her mother’s belly. And so, she began to come to me in my dreams. Another little soul the man had lost many years prior began to orbit my world, which is how I knew I was a Medium. I began having dreams about the man and writing things which he would then write on his social media weeks or months later.
I honestly thought that perhaps I was going crazy! But when I reached out to this man via his social media to ask about a project he was working on, it turns out, he had noticed me too. And when I finally connected with him and told him the “things” I had been experiencing, he confirmed many of those things as indeed real. Our connection felt star crossed. It felt unimaginable, yet magical.
How was this possible and what a way to wake up to my abilities! And although he was in a different situation than the one he is in now, it felt destined. I had readings from other intuitives who said yes, this was in fact real and true.
But then the reality of his current situation hit. He needed to work through some things in his life. I let him take the lead and didn’t speak my truth and allowed things I shouldn’t have because I assumed it would all work out in the end. And then the world started spinning, and the distance and the unknown became too much for him as did my abilities. I short circuited him. All of it at once. His reaction was to blocked me with not much of an explanation. Just like that, it was over, before it even really began.
Eventually he unblocked me with no explanation. And then out of nowhere a little over a year later, ironically when I was traveling and only three hours away from where he lived, he messaged a short apology. It was as if he still felt me. And on a day when just hours earlier I had come across a raven, who is this man’s symbol. The raven just stared at me. So, I asked this raven if it had a message for me. And clearly it did. It sounds like a movie, I know, but it is my reality. (On a light note, I did tell him about my profile, just to get one little triumph in there!)
As spirit has said, there is a divine genius of how we end up on each other’s paths at the perfect time. As old foundations crumble because they are no longer in alignment with who we are, there’s always a glimpse, a glimmer that others possibilities and other life exists. Heads up. Heart open.
This leads me back to how it all began. This man sparked something within me, which led to my profile on IG, which led me to make so many wonderful connections, far and wide. Connections I would have never made otherwise. If it wasn’t for the rejection, the hurt and the redirection of my feelings, and the need to pour it into something creative, then we might have never met and that would have been a shame.
I did not let the disappointment of that connection leave me broken. I chose to empower myself and dive into my truth, my sensuality–aspects of myself that needed to be explored, and turned it into something amazing. The silver lining is all of the experiences, connections, and feedback I have made as a result of it.
So, next time you are feeling low or heartbroken, please understand we may never understand fully why things happen the way they do, but I will tell you this-there is always more involved than meets the eye. There are karmic contracts, soul contracts, changing timelines, and new chapters always in play.
Some people are meant to come into our lives as challenges, as fun, as lessons, and as examples. It’s endless. But we get so attached to “how” it was supposed look and be that we don’t realize they were just messengers. People come into our lives to show us parts of ourselves we forgot or were hidden, to trigger us to heal the wounded parts of ourselves.
And it takes courage, which is how I found you all. To think of the things I would not have experienced out of fear or judgment from others when all I really want to do is live, love and be alive, and experience all of the joys and messiness in this whole crazy existence we call Earth.
I’m going to keep doing things that bring me joy and make me feel alive, building my light body, letting go of things that no longer serve me because all I know is I want to look back on my life and say “I lived. I truly lived.” And If I help you to do it too, even better.
How do you truly want to live?
**If you have any questions, topics or suggestions you might be interested in me writing about, please leave a comment here or message me @sips_from_the_edge on Instagram. I will combine my own personal wisdom with perhaps some channeling, depending on the subject or questions asked. It will come from a higher consciousness.
Rebecca has a background in the creative arts with a degree in Theatre, minor in English, working in films, television and stage. In the past few years she has been focusing on her spiritual healing work as an energy intuitive, psychic channel, medium and massage therapist and is combining worlds for a unique perspective on life.
Interview with Self-Portrait Photographer – Catharsis on Camera
Featured Image: “One with The Ghosts”, 2021 – Catharsis on Camera
How did you first get started in self-portrait photography? Is it something you have always wanted to do?
I first got started in self-portrait photography after a self-portrait photographer/life model and former friend of mine inspired and encouraged me to get into that medium after he and I connected on Tumblr years ago. Self-portrait photography wasn’t something I’ve always wanted to do as I didn’t always like to see myself in photos outside of smartphone and digital camera mirror selfies I’ve taken in the past and shared on one of my previous Tumblr blogs. However, my former friend kindly and gently convinced me to try self-portrait photography, and because of this, I’ve been doing this as a hobby I’ve been partaking in and still do on and off since 2016.
Which part of self-portrait photography do you find the most enjoyable, and which do you find the hardest?
The part of self-portrait photography I find the most enjoyable would be when this creative energy flows into me, leading me to take sets of self-portraits- some photos I know for sure I can edit and post on social media and some that I either barely touch or don’t touch at all. As for the hardest part of self-portrait photography, it would be my trying to figure out how I can edit images that can be difficult for me to work with, especially those where I find myself feeling self-conscious about how I look in certain images.
Where do you find your inspirations for your self-portrait photos?
I find my inspirations for my self-portrait photos from various sources- images I’ll see on social media, exhibitions in art galleries and museums I’ve stepped foot in, and films, music, and quotes from writers that figuratively touch my soul and challenge my preconceived notions on how I see and perceive the connections I have with myself, the people I’ve interacted with on social media and in real life, and the world in its entirety.
If you were to undertake your perfect photo shoot without restrictions, can you tell me what you would do?
I would definitely do a photo shoot in a forest where I’m surrounded by towering redwood trees and small bodies of water that sets the mood for a self-portrait photography series where I’m posing in front of the camera and I’m in nature. Also, I’m either partially clothed or nude as I pose and I get so into the photoshoot that I find myself not getting too concerned if people watch me make self-portraits or not.
Which camera/phone do you use to take your photos, and how do you edit them?
For my most recent self-portraits, I used a Sony A7III (my now go-to camera), with either the 28-70mm kit lens that came with the camera when I bought it months ago, or the 50mm lens, to take them. For the self-portraits I’ve shot from 2016 to 2021, I’ve used a couple of iPhones (my current one being the 13 Pro), along with a Canon EOS Rebel T6i (a camera I started with in the beginning of my self-portrait photography journey) and Fujifilm’s X-E3 and X-T2 mirrorless cameras. As for apps/programs I’ll use to edit my photos, I don’t just utilize Photoshop and Lightroom as I also use Snapseed to edit my images, including those that either have double or multiple exposures, if I haven’t used any of my Fujis to do in-camera double exposure self-portraits. I don’t do a ton of retouching on my images, by the way, as I’d like to highlight all of the imperfections on my body.
In your opinion, what makes a good photograph? How do you decide when something you create meets or exceeds your expectations?
A good photograph to me is something that isn’t just well-composed in camera and well-edited, but also, it is something that evokes a multitude of emotions I’ll feel when I see it. It also allows me to figuratively see an artist’s heart and soul in a self-portrait or in an image they’ve taken of a subject they’ve worked with. When it comes to my self-portrait photography, if something I’ve created is something that I truly feel I can edit and post on social media without my expecting to get a multitude of likes, comments, reblogs, etc., then I know for sure that it either meets or exceeds my own expectations, which solely consists of me expecting that any of the images I’ve made will reflect who I am as an artist and as a human.
Is there any advice you would give someone wanting to start self-portrait photography?
I highly recommend that they connect with self-portraiture artists whom they’ve been following on social media and find those artists to be worth seeking inspiration, encouragement, and support from. From there, they can interact with those artists and ask them if they’d be willing to follow them on their self-portrait photography journey by means of submitting their photos to them via DMing them (in a kind and respectful manner, of course). and ask if they can provide some sort of constructive criticism on their images. Additionally, those artists might not stay on the aspiring self-portrait photographer’s journey, so if they end up leaving at some point, regardless of whether they end up drifting away or break their connections with each other after they have a falling out, the aspiring self-portrait photographer can allow themselves to grieve over the lost connections they’ve had with the artists whom they’ve looked up to and made attempts at having a long-lasting friendship and mentorship with them, while simultaneously doing the best they can to move forward and allow a crop of new faces who’ll be their friends/mentors who can provide the support, guidance, inspiration, and encouragement that the artists who’ve left have provided when they were connected with them. It might be easier said than done (and I say this because I’ve struggled in letting go of former friends and those who’ve also mentored me), yet people who have been with us in the beginning of our artistic endeavours won’t always stay with us and they have every right to exit out of their connections with us if they don’t feel safe, comfortable, respected, and appreciated by the people whom they can no longer continuously befriend with. They also have every right to re-enter our lives and reignite the connections that have fizzled out between them and us (if they would like to, of course).
Also, they can pick up a DSLR or mirrorless camera they can obtain that’s user-friendly to beginners (like Canon’s Rebel line), and learn how to shoot and compose images in the camera’s manual mode and in .RAW file format, edit those images in whatever photo editing program they choose to use, and not expect to be popular on the social media platforms they’ll post their images overnight.
Lastly, the aspiring self-portrait photographer must approach how they are making portraits and sharing them by delving deep into their thoughts and images before, during, and after they set the camera up, take as many images as they can, upload them on a phone, computer, whatever, edit them, and post them on social media. This can be done by them allowing themselves to tap into their vulnerability, and from there, they can examine themselves and what they can put into these narratives that the images will display about them, what they’ve been hiding after they’ve been wearing these invisible masks that conceal their most authentic selves, and what they can contribute to the communities they are finding some sort of belonging in. Even if they find themselves not having the opportunities to truly seek that belonging in existing communities for self-portrait photographers, they’re expressing their authenticity in their art and if they’re able to communicate what they’ve struggled to say in, say, verbal exchanges with people they’ll converse with, and in writing, they’ve already achieved to bring themselves into a medium where it’s not always going to be safe and comfortable for them to present themselves in photos as they’ll find themselves getting out of their designated comfort zones when they are making images that might not be deemed for society as a whole to see.
Do you think social media sites restrict content creators or push them to be more creative in finding different ways to express themselves?
I personally think social media sites, like Instagram, can be restrictive to content creators, yet they can provide opportunities for them to find different ways to express themselves while doing as much as they can to adhere to the social media site’s community guidelines. The self-portrait photographers I truly respect and connect with are those that acknowledge AND accept that sites, such as Instagram, have vaguely-worded and confusing community guidelines they’ve been doing the best they can to follow, yet it can be frustrating to follow what those sites want them to follow to a T. Despite that, they somehow adapt by determining how they can censor whatever photos they’ll post on Instagram and simultaneously find other sites where they can post their uncensored content, if they feel inclined to build their presence and following on Twitter, Tumblr, Patreon, Gumroad, and wherever else they’d like to be active in.
If you could wish for three things to come true, what would they be and why?
I’d wish I can have more opportunities to meet artists I’ve been connecting with to do in-person photoshoots/collaborations with, do more projects where I can swap images with another self-portrait photographer and they and I can edit each other’s images and post them on Instagram, and travel around the U.S. and the world where I’m not just doing self-portrait photography projects, but I’m also doing street and landscape photography in Paris, Zurich, Berlin, London, Tokyo, Seoul, Hong Kong, Manila, Da Nang, wherever.
Any goals that you want to achieve in the next 2 years?
You know, I might not really know if I’ll keep dabbling in self-portrait photography in the next two years, yet I’d like to achieve my goals in continuously making and sharing self-portraits on Instagram and Tumblr despite my being busy working full-time, connecting with more photographers as well as artists who draw and paint their subjects, and keep evolving as I’m in the current iteration of myself- one that’ll keep being kind, respectful, and supporting of artists who enjoy following and connecting with people like myself, yet they need their precious time to return to themselves by means of resting, recharging, and creating their own works before they have the mental and emotional capacity to interact with others again.
I would also like to set and achieve goals associated with my needing to make a conscientious effort to engage in self-care practices. As much as I love to be on Instagram and other social media platforms, my energy can be drained if I don’t carve out time for me to figuratively pour whatever I’ve been filling in other artists’ cups into my own cup. In other words, I’d like to be more mindfully aware of the time and energy I give to other artists in case I haven’t had the chance to take care of myself and my emotional needs after I’ve spent so much time immersing myself in their works and the conversations I’ve had with them. I find that if I take more breaks/hiatuses from social media, then I’ll feel less energetically drained. I also want to add that I can feel depressed and disengaged with the digital world if I see nothing but negating content on any of my social media feeds, so it’s important for me to step out of social media and step into the real world if I experience nothing but doom and gloom in the images, words, and videos that populate all of my social media feeds.
Interview with photo model – Tigg Cullen
Featured Image – Copyright – Photographer – Matt Kubitza
How did you first get into modelling?
I first got into modelling 3 years ago, when I met a photographer through an outside group of people. He randomly sent me a message one day asking if I would like to fill in for a model who had cancelled last minute. He said that I had the perfect resting bitch face for the shoot, lol. They were doing a shoot entitled “Despair Raising” awareness for teenage suicide. When I arrived, I met a couple of photographers. I was the only model with all these photographers around me, shooting different angles and poses. I guess I was hooked! Before leaving for the day, we were already booking my second shoot, and I still shoot with many of these same photographers today, and I am happy to say they have become more like family to me. They have been a vital part of my healing process, both mentally helping me regain confidence as well as physically after I had a stroke last year.
What is the hardest part of being a model, and what is the easiest?
The hardest part about being a model is confidence, especially after the stroke! I am very self-critical (as we all can be). It is especially hard being a model with disabilities. But besides that, I believe each shoot comes with its own set of challenges, whether it’s facing your own personal fears, braving weather-related issues or stepping in front of a new photographer without clothing! You just have to take a deep breath and say GO! I have often stood at the edge of a cliff braving my fear of heights, laid in freezing cold water, braving my fear of water and cold lol or walked onto a set and dropped my robe in front of a new photographer. In the end, the shot is always worth it because I can say I did it!
The easiest part has been becoming part of the community here in Calgary! This community welcomed me in with open arms when I was losing everyone else in my life; this community was there for me and became my friends, and showed me what true friendship was. They were there to check on me when I had the stroke, they helped me when I needed it, pulled me out when I was sinking into depression, got me out made me walk and exercise. I have watched as they lost one of their own and saw them come together to raise money for the family and charity. They work together, they help protect each other, and they build one another up. So by far, becoming part of a community of people that care is the easiest part of my journey as a model.
Since having a stroke, has it affected your modelling at all? Have you had to change anything?
While in the hospital, I felt sad and afraid that no one would want to work with me again as a model. I had lost complete use of my left arm and had weakness in my left leg still. The photographers never let me give up though they called to check on me in the hospital and let me know I was not alone. Honestly, I think I have done more since the stroke than before I have had to change how I do things; some, I can’t hold a pose as long and my balance is still off But every photographer I have worked with has been extremely accommodating; allowing me extra breaks if necessary and constantly asks if I am ok or if it is too hard, while still pushing me to be as strong as I am able to be.
What is the longest shoot you have been on? What was it for?
Most shoots take approximately 3 hours on average. however, It depends on if it is a collaboration with upwards of 20 people attending, or sometimes a photographer and myself will just set out for a day and drive and stop and random locations that look good. We will go until we get hungry, then stop for dinner and head back. if memory serves me, though, I think the longest shoot I have done solo is my second shoot It was a collab with other models shooting a different theme in an old burnt-out hotel. I was there, however, to shoot a story depicting emotional abuse. It was a very empowering shoot allowing me to express how it felt while having been in a highly emotionally abusive marriage.
I see you have a shot in a wide range of locations; what has been the best location for you and why?
I have shot in a wide range of locations, from in-studio to random outdoor shoots. Each comes with its set of challenges; as I have stated earlier, my preference is given to on-location places. Although you have to deal with mother nature, natural sunlight, and the occasional on-lookers, I find it exciting to work out the challenges and to see the expression on people’s faces as they see me in a wild costume [posing in a strange place like a cemetery or back alley or to manage to get the perfect nude shot without being seen by the general public milling about.
Have you ever thought about swapping roles and becoming a photographer?
Yes, I have thought about trying my hand at trading places with photographers, and I have even tried once or twice. I think it is helpful to know what the photographer sees from the other side of the lens. Sadly this does not seem to be my forte. What I truly love is being part of the creative. I am often a big part of picking the set, costumes, and accessories and doing my own make-up and planning with my photographers. I do best when I have a deeper understanding of the exact look we are trying to achieve.
Given the opportunity to model for your perfect shoot without any restrictions. Can you please describe it?
Does the perfect shoot really exist? This is the first thought that comes to mind when asked this question. I have had many opportunities to do amazing shoots with even more amazing photographers each has presented me with outstanding results! I’ve been lucky enough to have photographers that embrace my weirdness and give me full creative reign of my own costume and make-up, and we just go with it and have fun. These many opportunities have gotten me published multiple times in magazines around the world and even landed a cover once
If you could wish for three things to come true, what would they be and why?
3 things I wish for, hmmmmm… Sadly, I would have to say this is complicated for me to explain. I consider myself firstly a fantasy model and then a fine art nude model. So, I guess I wish when I am doing the fine art nudes that, people would open themselves up more to see the actual art of what is portrayed. Nudity does not necessarily equate to sexy or sexuality. So often, when showing my photos, especially men look at it as an opportunity to see boobs or a bum. I am so much more than that, and a lot of work goes into these shoots to create what they see. To follow up with this, my children and family are, for lack of better words, ashamed of the work I do, either fantasy or nudes. I just want to say what I do is art and not porn or disgusting. I am extremely proud of my body and my art. I am proud that as a single mom of 6 children and 1 stepdaughter, and 5 grandchildren and after a stroke, mental illness and drug addictions, I am alive and healthy enough and have the body that I do to be able to create such art.
Secondly, I wish to heal faster so I can continue to grow as a better model and hopefully empower others with disabilities to follow their dreams. Nothing is impossible! except maybe winning the lottery, lol
Lastly, I wish to become independent again. I want to be able to get to a point where I am financially stable enough to have my own home again and reconcile with my kids to be with the love of my life and be happy.
If one of your friends came to you and wanted to be a model, what three pieces of advice would you give them?
I have had the opportunity to bring friends on set with me, which has been amazing. I do this to connect with people in my world and help others boost their self-confidence. I tell them firstly, RELAX! Be yourself, get to know everyone and get comfortable. Next, I tell them to HAVE FUN! be silly make jokes make faces, and just be you. Some of the best shots I have gotten are candid shots of me being silly and randomly captured. Lastly, I say don’t worry, you can’t do it wrong; there are no mistakes, just listen to your photographer.
Do you have any goals that you want to achieve in the next 2 years?
Right now, I take one hour at a time, one day at a time. It is hard to know how I will feel one day to the next and deal with stroke fatigue. So my goals are to live today because today is my best day ever! I plan to continue working on myself mentally and physically and hopefully grow as a model. With the goal of one day being able to make a difference in someone else life as so many have done for me! The rest will come 🙂
Interview with Fashion and Photo Model – Sarah
Can you tell me a little about yourself and how you got into modelling? Is it something you have always wanted to do?
I modelled a bit In my 20s and then never pursued it. But it has been something I’ve always wanted to do. Everyone always told me to be a Model, but I had limited self-confidence in myself and didn’t think I had what it took. I was slim and busty with long legs, and everyone said I should have been a page 3 model. That wasn’t for me due To being brought up in a strict family with a lot of emotional abuse. Which ate further away at my self-confidence. I eventually developed an eating disorder and body dysmorphia where no matter how much weight I lost or gained, I still looked overweight. I went through my life disliking my body, and I would be depressed that I didn’t look like the celebrities in magazines and on TV. So I decided to do other careers.
Can you remember how you felt in your life modelling session and who it was with?
First modelling session, recently, I’m guessing you want to ask about? I felt hyper and very eager. I was excited and maybe a little too enthusiastic lol. I was really happy with the capture by the photographer Stronge Images Photography. The reason being as to why I was so confident was that the photographer was very understanding, and we worked well together as a team. Also, I’ve done a lot of work on my mindset. I’m also a Life Coach for young people, and I realised that it doesn’t matter that I don’t look like the airbrushed models and celebrities in magazines. I look like ME. That is the only person who I want to look like. So I embraced my body, all of my curves, and my bubbly, chatty and hyper personality. I have ADHD and Autism. I’m a confident plus-size woman regardless of cellulite, scars, imperfections and how I look at myself. I’m unique, and that is my superpower. That’s what I want to show all the young people and adults who don’t think they’re good enough because they don’t have a filter, aren’t airbrushed or Because they aren’t a size 6. It doesn’t matter. Do you, be you. Practice self-love and realise that you are special.
What is the biggest challenge you have faced being a model, and how have you overcome it?
I find modelling is like smearing yourself in honey and then walking into a bee hive lol. It’s finding the right photographers to fit your requirements and also theirs. So I’d suggest going with a reputable agency. You need to do your research, though, because even those can be difficult to navigate. I find Purple Port a great help as it has a lot of information to help you if you’re starting out.
How did you decide what level of modelling you wanted to do?
I decided on my levels because I want to get published, so doing a range of different photography styles I felt would increase my chances of getting into the magazine. Plus, it’s fun to mix it up. But the commercial side is also because I want to model for plus size clothing companies and for companies who stock plus size fashion.
Ever thought about becoming a photographer and photographing either others or yourself?
Yes, actually, I have. I do have a keen eye, and I think I’m not too bad at the photography side. I’ve taken pictures for people at events I’ve been at, and a lot of people have used my pictures instead of the photographer they hired. I’m sure both of us were great; it’s just nice to have a photo treasured and adored by people because I love making people happy and helping people.
If you were to undertake your perfect photo shoot without restrictions, can you tell me what you would do?
My perfect photoshoot would either be lots of Autumnal shots or Christmas shots.
So crunchy colourful leaves and wearing autumn clothing with pumpkins and a winter snow shoot with a Christmas tree and Christmas lights around me and tinsel. I may even go so far as implied nude. Depending on the ideas the photographer had lol.
But I won’t do nude. Could you imagine? I wouldn’t want my nipples to fall off, lol.
What do you get up to when you are not modelling?
Well, recently, I’ve had pneumonia and have been pretty unwell. But usually, I end up singing and dancing in the shower, and then I network on social media and help young people to develop coping mechanisms so they can handle life stresses a lot better. I have spoken in schools and aim to educate the children about the benefits of being self-confident and helping them deal with stress. I can help children that have gone through abuse also.
Given a choice to be shot in either black&white or colour photos, which would you choose and why?
I prefer black and white because there is something mysterious and old school about black and white photos. Especially if it’s implied nude, I prefer that to be shot with low light to set the mood of the image and black and white. It’s much sexier, in my opinion. But it does depend on the photo and what the photographer and model want to create, of course.
If one of your friends came to you and asked for advice about becoming a model, what would 3 pieces of advice would you give them?
I would say.
1. Learn how to be a model on Purple port. Research this extensively.
2. Research agencies thoroughly
3. Never be pressured to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing at a shoot. If possible, take a friend. Safety is key.
Do you have any goals that you want to achieve in the next 2 years?
Yes, I would love to be an internationally published model and also work for a plus-size clothing brand. I’ve been constantly told I’ll never make it. But someone’s got to, right? Why not me? Never give up, and don’t take no for an answer. I’ll get there.
Interview with Self-Portrait Photographer & Artist Muse – Ciaobella
When did you first start your Instagram page, and what was its reason?
I remember vividly the first official date of Ciaobella’s birth, February 1st, 2021. It was so significant to me because it’s the only ‘female’ month in the year (in Croatian) but was 3 months in the making, so since Samhain of 2020, through close friends’ stories on my regular profile, I started to express through sensual photography of myself to start getting a dimension of many feels and desires swirling in my head. I’m gonna try and do my best to summarise the reason for it, so here is the rough deal; Ciaobella rose from the ashes of a few years-long internet affair which I had abruptly ended by my husband’s confrontation of it. That was actually such a blessing in disguise because I was very much so outgrowing the faults for being in an affair; I just couldn’t unglue myself out of it. That was such a turning point for both of us, the catharsis of our marriage that showed such growth, love, support and trust that month after that was revealed. My husband fully supported my participation in one local sensual page with my images. I realised my reasons for the affair as a thrill of validation that I lacked within myself. Images that I shared were my first artistic look at myself, through which I started to develop actual love of self. I never considered myself sensual; for many years, I lacked the desire for intimacy, which really devastated my dotting husband. He adored me from day one and always complimented me, but it was of no use when I myself didn’t feel remotely so from within. So the reason to start this Instagram page was to discover, or rather uncover, the sensuality within me that brought appreciation and love for this now 48 year old mom of 3 body.
Do you remember your first post, and what was it of?
I most certainly remember my first post, veiled in my now famous red spilling-into-pale-pink scarf, as if dreaming, greeting all who gave me wind beneath my wings until then through close-friends stories on my regular profile.
What camera do you use to take your photos, and how do you edit them?
I only use my mobile, which in the beginning was Samsung Galaxy, and now I have Huawei nova mini 5t. Since nature photography is my first passion, I kinda skilled my eye there prior to focusing it on my self-portraits. In the very beginning of it, some 4-5 years ago, I may have emulated some poses that I could have only dreamed of in my earlier years and grew stronger with my own vision of self. I loved that newfound tenderness, and dreaminess from within, considering how insecure I was about it. Never really considered myself all that feminine and gentle and never felt comfortable with compliments of that sort, so photographing myself through various gestures and situations started to present all marvellous facets of me. I’m absolutely high on life, and incorporating my huge love and admiration towards nature’s moments brought me to perfecting my captures with respect to lighting because the ambience is what I care the most to present well; therefore, only occasionally do I use Snapseed application to tweak the images.
In addition to your photos, I can see you have been captured by some incredible artists; how did that happen?
Just before starting my Ciaobella profile here, a few months prior, through that local sensual page where I contributed images, I became a muse to a wonderful artist that I call a dear friend by now. Was so lucky to have such an amazing understanding, respect, and humour from the start, that set some guidelines for other possible future collaborations, and boy, did they pour in…! When I started posting his works, the other artists started to inquire too, but many happened spontaneously; just sending me a dm was an utter delight. And those I value the most when the inspiration is THAT strong, and of an image that doesn’t require to be censored, which kinda translates to me the overall impression of the successfully brought emotion of my post. I am not a model; therefore, those spontaneous bursts of artwork I really appreciate the most, which basically defined the way I collaborate here. I never choose or ask; only upon a decisive artist’s desire to draw certain images does all happen. It took a while to reaffirm that, due to many enquiries and ‘ooh, could you possibly do this/that.. send me your favourite.. I want what nobody else drew… etc, that found me in Abbeys of too much energy wasted, so only when they are decisive in a certain image is a go, and of course, perfect manner of communication and respect that preceded.
Going through your Instagram feed, you have some powerful photos. where do you find your inspiration for your photos?
I’m mostly inspired by natural light effects. Living in a peaceful natural environment, I am most fascinated by sunrises, sunsets and other various glorious nature appearances that I grew to incorporate here. Such a sincere connection and surrender with nature really heightens my sensuality, so I gladly drop anything I do to capture it, myself in it preferably.
Also, I cherish my spontaneity, which carries me through some amazing frames when feeling so passionate about certain mundane moments in daily activities that by artistically capturing it, I feel like sending message ‘magic is exactly in those mundane daily activities when you chose to see them, feel them, be fully present in them, and moment by moment you realize how you can be a master of your own reality, create it to your own liking and see how it opens up new horizons.
I see you take photos outdoors, are you ever worried someone might walk past?
Yes, there is always a concern if someone will pass by, but in small measure generally since I live on a small island. My sunrise moments I capture very early when no one is awake but true, I am on high alert for a random fisherman or a dog walker.
Can you tell me the most embarrassing thing that has happened while you have been doing a self-portrait shoot?
My most embarrassing moment was when my daughter burst into my room while I was shooting on the bed, but I rapidly covered up and managed to answer her inquiry. She was unphased, but I was pretty stirred.
If you could plan your ideal self-portrait photoshoot without any restrictions, what would it be, and what message would you want to tell?
My ideal photo session… I never think of it because I feel this is my own thing. I cannot possibly imagine a photographer telling me, ‘move here-move there, lift up your left arm, bend your right leg, hold this, pull that..’ I’m not thinking ever of it. I strongly feel of deriving my own creativity from within through my own lens, both physically and mentally, in the surroundings given.
Funny, because really many photographers approached me for collaboration, but I got out of all due to my location.
Is there a message you would like to say that your photos cannot?
A message that I like to send through my photos is generally in a sensual aspect is CARPE DIEM; I am so high on life, appreciating all the little things that add up to those 24 hours given. I am not some high-strung ‘be positive! Be positive!’ nerd, but someone that always sees something good in everything. That’s the difference. I am expressing my self-love, appreciation and acceptance that I lacked a few years back, and through it revelling in those little mosaics of life along the way. To my knowledge from the majority of my active followers, it is visible and tangible
Do you have goals that you want to achieve in the next 2 years?
Uuh, not losing my sleep over something 2 years from now; I feel we are greatly missing out on NOW imagining what we’d like in the future. I’m trying to be fully present in NOW, explore all that I have and am, and work on that consistency of authenticity, which will lead me eventually somewhere magnificent.
Interview with Juno Li – Life Model
Featured image – Artist: Richard Gray / Model: Juno Li
How did you first get into life modelling? Is it something you have always wanted to do?
It was very spontaneous and quite funny, really. I was performing at a spoken word event one night and got talking to one of the other performers about side hustles. She mentioned that she had been thinking about life modelling, and that was all it took for me to get the idea in my head. I joined the Register of Artists’ Models (RAM) that night when I got home, before waking up the next morning with big regrets. I thought, “Why did I join? I don’t want to do this,” but I had to audition to stay on the register, and I’d already committed to the registration fee; so I decided follow through. The week preceding my audition I was terrified, but when it finally happened I felt a tremendous sense of liberation.
What do you find to be the most challenging part of life modelling?
I have a very complicated relationship with my own body image, and life modelling requires me to confront this in a public way. Throughout my teenage years I suffered with quite an all-consuming eating disorder — I remember for the longest time thinking I would rather stay celibate than ever have someone see me naked. I took my body very seriously, and I still have days when I do not want to be seen by anyone; but life modelling is helping me move on from this. There is something very healing about seeing yourself through a solely artistic lens, and through everyone else’s eyes.
I see that you have also had a photoshoot with Gary Geezer. Was that your first photoshoot? Is photo work something you are looking to get into?
It was my first nude photoshoot, yes. I’ve been asked to do similar shoots by many photographers in the past, but always declined because I didn’t like their work enough, and often found the nudity in their images was very sexualised. One of the beautiful things about life modelling is its complete focus on shape objectivity and removal of sexuality; you can exist as nothing more than a form wherein attraction is completely irrelevant. I feel that in photography, it’s much easier to enter territory in which attractiveness of the subject is placed above artistic value in terms of importance, so I’m much more selective and cautious when it comes to photographic modelling. Having said that, I have a huge appreciation for photography, so when I do find people I want to shoot with I often really love the outcomes.
What is the most challenging pose you have had to hold, and how long did you hold it?
It was the one captured here by the brilliant Alexandra Veres; my right arm was over my head with my entire upper body weight supported by my left forearm, while my legs were bent and splayed across the modelling bed. I chose it as a 15 minute pose despite having never tried it out before, and very quickly realised it was going to be a strenuous hold. My arms were quavering with exertion by the last minute, but I managed to maintain form to the end. I cultivate a lot of physical strength required to hold difficult poses from mental belief, so I spent most of that 15 minutes repeatedly telling myself I would make it.
A strange question, but if you could invent a product to make life modelling easier, what would it be and why?
It would be a device that tracks the angles of each pose I do throughout a session, to help me make sure I’m giving everyone equal opportunity to practise different techniques — drawing my face, foreshortening, and so on.
Is there any specific process you go through to prepare for a life drawing session?
I eat either nothing or very little the entire day beforehand, and shave everything. I’m trying to break both of these habits.
Could you share any interesting/funny/scary anecdotes with us about any shoots you have done?
When I was 19, I did a shoot with a popular photographer who had come across some images of me online and asked to book me. I wasn’t nude, but I was wearing a selection of skimpy outfits that I had styled from my wardrobe upon his request. The shoot went fine, but when driving me back from the location he started speaking about a “lengthy affair” he’d had about a decade earlier while married with children to his current wife. He went on to tell me all the details with a strange nonchalance. His wife didn’t share his interest in French cinema, but his lover had — and was everything his wife wasn’t beyond that, too. It was likely that his wife knew anyway, he said; after all, she was a very intelligent woman. This feeling of deep discomfort settled in me and I suddenly became hyperaware of the fact I was in this stranger’s car, that he was in complete control of the situation, and that I did not trust him. I didn’t say much and started planning exit routes. When I got out, he handed me my cash and I remember feeling dirty in some way. The photos turned out well, but I never worked with him again.
Is it easy to find work as a life model? What have you found to be the easiest way to find work?
I found it relatively easy from the start, but getting consistent work took a bit of time for me. For the first few months, I depended on RAM’s Joblink Search, which is great. Now I also use Instagram, and send a lot of cold emails to life groups expressing interest, providing a short description of my appearance and asking them to get in touch with dates. Building genuine relationships with artists at classes is also a good way to get recommended to organisers. Reputation matters, so be reliable, professional, and commit to every job you take on; if you’re not building your reputation up, you’re destroying it.
How has life modelling changed since the pandemic, and what do you think the future holds for life modelling?
I’ve only been life modelling since May this year, so I haven’t seen the effects of the pandemic in this area firsthand, but I have spoken to artists who say there are a lot more life classes in London now than there was pre-pandemic, and of course, the rise of online classes is also notable. This increase means it’s likely easier to find work as a life model now than it was a couple of years ago, but I also have a hunch this surge may be temporary. I know quite a lot of groups are seeing their numbers drop due to the number of classes running now, so I suspect some will disappear in the coming year.
Do you have any goals you want to achieve in the next 2 years?
I am currently training in circus arts, and want to start learning contortion to utilise in my modelling. I’m very hypermobile as it is, so I expect I’ll take to it quite well. Other than that, I hope I can find contentment and start earning enough regular income to afford a dog — I’ve dreamed about having a Samoyed for years.
Interview with artist – Leo Le Lion
What first attracted you to art? Do you remember what your first drawing was of?
What attracted me to art was challenging my brother, he was very good at drawing, and I wanted to be better because he was mocking me. And at first, I was drawing human beings.
When drawing, what is your favourite subject to draw and why?
My favourite subject to draw is animals. I like drawing species that I see, and that fascinates me. Indeed each animal is particular. They all have various textures and several details like wings, scales, hairs, skins, claws… and a lot of different shapes.
Where do you find the inspiration for your drawings?
I find my inspiration in nature through my travels and pictures that I take and on social networks (Instagram, Google, Pinterest).
Have you attended any training for your art? Are you completely self-taught?
I learned to draw by myself, with time and practice, observing my subjects and watching videos on YouTube to improve my skills.
What did you find the hardest skill to master when drawing?
For me, the hardest skills are proportion and perspective, but with observation and practice, everyone can do it.
Have you ever considered going on the otherwise of the canvas and becoming the model, even if for a self-portrait?
No, I never considered it and to be honest, I would feel uncomfortable with it, so I respect even more the person who is doing it.
If one of your friends came to you and wanted to start drawing, what advice would you give them?
My advice would be to observe and understand the subject to start drawing sketches before entering into the details.
How long does it take for you to create one of your drawings?
To create one of my drawings, it depends on if I want to be precise with detail and the final result I wish to obtain. So it can take one hour to ten or even more. But in general, it takes me four hours to draw an animal.
Do you ever find that you get a creative block? If so, how do you get past it?
Yes, creative block happens, so to get past it is to draw little sketches for about 20 minutes each, without looking for perfection, just drawing and letting it go. But most of the time, it goes off with time.
Do have any goals you want to achieve in the next 2 years?
In the next two years, I would like to improve my skills and try new things, like digital drawing or using watercolour, maybe… And I would like to keep sharing my art on social media, and the best thing would be to be exposed in a gallery. I wish one day, my drawings will become helpful for a cause or to educate people.
Interview with photo model – Christine
Featured image: Copyright: Model – Christine / Photographer – @boudoirbluestudiosreddeer
When did you first start modelling? Is it something you have always wanted to do?
It’s been just over 2 years since I started modelling. I was doing an outdoor boudoir shoot. Fell in love with my images and how I felt after.
I ended up doing a model call and was hooked. I just started connecting and putting myself out there.
You have some impressive tattoo work done; how many tattoos do you currently have, and do you have any plans for any more?
Yes, I have a few. They kind of blend together now. Hard to count, but I would guess, or my best guess, would be over 15 if they were all separate. As you can see, I have both arms tattooed and my lower back, which we did a coverup on. My back piece, I have my sides done, and my left ass cheek and thigh. Oh ya, the right leg has a new lady face. Both legs will likely be sleeves, and I also have to finish my back.
Can you tell me about a shoot you have had so much fun on that you forget you were working
To be honest, it’s hard to pick. I always have so much fun. I get to work with some really amazing people.
What would you say has been your most significant achievement in your modelling career so far?
Just actually doing this. I never thought I would have the confidence to do this.
What is the hardest part about being a model, and how did you overcome it?
Really learning to appreciate my body as it is. Not needing it to be anything more than it is.
How do you think modelling has changed since you first started, and what do you see the future like?
Modelling has brought me a real sense of confidence, not in looks but within myself. I will just continue to enjoy what comes to me during this journey.
Have you ever thought about swapping roles and becoming a photographer?
No, I haven’t.
Given an unlimited budget without any restrictions, please describe your perfect photo shoot.
I would love to have a destination shoot. Someplace warm, in the water and sun. Simple yet beautiful
If a friend came to you and said they wanted to be a model, what three pieces of advice would you give them?
Enjoy the experience
Embrace your beauty
Be open to being coached
Do you have any goals that you want to achieve in the next 2 years ago?
I think I just keep doing what I’m doing. I’d like to do some travel and work with some new folks. Experience new places. Meet some more amazing folks.
Interview with Photographer – Pixelizer Photos
How did you first get into photography? What inspired you to pick up a camera?
I grew up with a mother who used to take a lot of photos. Every moment with friends or when travelling, she would take pictures. I always saw her with a camera. And when she passed away, she left boxes full of photographs. So perhaps this influenced me in a way, even though I was not interested in photography when I was a teen.
I started to pay interest in it when I came to Paris as a student. At that time, I discovered graffiti art and architecture. I had a Minolta film camera, and I started exploring the city trying to capture the things I liked, but with no specific objective in mind. I remember that I was trying to capture things from different angles than what you would normally go for, with attention to detail rather than large scenes.
But after a while, I felt that that type of photography was too static for me. It was not challenging enough. I needed something that would involve human factors. Around 2014, I noticed a french photographer on Facebook who was shooting sensual photography. It was totally new for me. I loved the natural light, the colours, the angles and the details. I instantly wanted to know more about him and how he practised. I had the chance to briefly discuss with him, and he was kind enough to give me a few tips. This is what started what I do today.
I see you have worked with the Instagram self-portrait artist sips_from_the_edge. How did you meet and start working together?
I came across her page and immediately liked the mood of her work. The way she uses light, the care given to the outfit, the consistency of the work, and the sensuality carried in every picture she makes. So I tried my luck, and we started a conversation. She is a beautiful person worth knowing. When she said she would travel to Paris, we had to make photos together. And I hope that we will make some again in the future.
Where do you get your inspiration for your photo shoot from?
Like many of us, I am exposed to a lot of images on Instagram. When I started that activity, I used to make mood boards from the work of other photographers. It was mainly to show the models my inspirations because when you’re a beginner, you have no work to show. I gradually found my style and haven’t done mood boards for years. When I see a photo of someone else I like, I never think, “I’ll do it next time”. For me, not even trying to imitate is essential; I do my best to stay away from that. Thus, the photos I take on the day of the shoot are never prepared before. I don’t have a plan in mind. Each woman is unique; the daylight on the shooting day is unique, as is the place and the atmosphere too. So I play with all these elements and capture what comes to mind spontaneously. I like to play with the light, with angles. There is no set list of photos to take.
Have you ever considered coming around from the back of the camera and being the model?
I never thought of that. But a woman photographer made me the proposal. I’m thinking about it.
What is your go-to camera and lens when shooting, and how do you edit your photos?
I use a Nikon D850 body. In terms of lenses, I go with 35, 50, 85 and 105 millimetres from Nikon. I frequently change lenses during the shooting. Using natural light only, I tend to shoot with high ISO, 1250 and above, and between f1.8 and f4.0. Regarding the editing, I work in two phases, first in Adobe Lightroom. I tag all the photos that will be retouched. Then, I apply basic editing to end up with a neutral base which I will work with in the second phase that happens in Adobe Photoshop.
Do you go through a specific process when you are editing your photos?
Yes, I apply the same specific process, which I refined over time. It is adapted from the process I learned in Les Gobelins school in Paris: geometry/body cleaning, light density, and colourimetry. Working this way ensures that I will first set up a neutral photo as a base on which I can build. Then I’ll explore different lighting options and finally apply colour or black and white mood. I used classic tools such as healing brush, stamp, fluidity, dodge and burn layers, high pass, curves and some Camera Raw features. I do not use automated tools. It can take me up to 2 hours to edit a photo. I am working with print as an aim, so paying attention to details is key.
Being a professional digital designer, I am used to structuring my work in a per-phase approach, plus paying attention to details is mandatory in my role. So, I apply the same working principles as a hobby photographer.
If you could invent something, what would help you, what would it be, and why do you need it?
If I could, I would invent a piece of software that would allow to change the settings of my camera by voice control. I could ask for a specific aperture, speed or ISO, and the changes would be applied automatically while I am still looking through the viewfinder.
Do you have any interesting/funny/scary anecdotes you could share with us about any shoots you have done (You can leave names out)?
More than an anecdote, I can share a story about a shooting. Years ago, I contacted a woman on Instagram and said asked if she would be OK to do a shoot. She was making self-portraits that I liked, and she was following me and liking my work. She had the desire to make photos with me. But at the same time, they had fears and doubts. Fears about how people would view her and doubts about being able to be naked in front of a man other than her husband. We discussed on Instagram for almost a year before she said, “I am ready; let’s do it.” So I travelled to her area, and we spent the whole day making photos. Everything was natural and fluid. And I could feel that she was deeply happy and touched by the present moment because all her fears and doubts were gone in an instant. That experience was very emotional. And that is exactly the kind of feelings I am looking for. Finally, four years after, we’ll meet again to make photos in 2023…
Say a friend came to you and wanted advice about becoming a photographer; what three pieces of advice would you give them?
Well, it’s not easy to answer because the advice differs depending on the style the friend wants to adopt. Suppose this friend wants to adopt the style I am in.
First, make sure you know why you’re here. On a personal level, what do you expect from your art? And what do you have to offer to your models beyond good looking photos?
Second, just start simple and study. Do not try to achieve complex things from the start. Be humble. Much of what you need to know is available on the Internet. Read and practice the basics. The execution of an idea must be supported by techniques.
Third, listen and speak. Do your best to learn more about your models and understand why they are there. You have the option to establish a conversation with a human being in order to capture this person in a photo that will last over time. It’s a privilege when a woman lets you capture her like this. Be fully aware of this.
Do you have any goals you want to achieve in the next 2 years?
I would like to have opportunities to shoot in wider locations, either houses or apartments. Until now, I always worked in small hotel rooms and now I would like to operate in bigger locations. Big windows, luxury furnishing, or an empty and abandoned shed. I would also like to build projects with other photographers. We would combine our sensibilities and techniques in a common project.
Interview with Tattooist and Artists – Viola Artworks
Please tell me a little about yourself, including what inspired you to get into art and tattooing.
I was born in Turin, Italy.
As a child I always loved drawing, and also messing with things and people with markers, always encouraged by my mother … I inevitably attended the art school in Milan and then I attended a year-long course for make-up artists, always in Milan, then later a year and a half of experience between photo sets and some cinema and theatre experience I entered my first tattoo convention. There I understood my love for tattoos; I just felt at ease. I wanted to do it as a job; I wanted to be a part of it.
From that moment, I tiptoed into this strange world; it was 2009. I bought a magazine of tattoo studio addresses and with my best drawings, I went to look for a studio that would teach me. I start it all like this…
What is your biggest challenge as an artist, and how have you overcome it?
The biggest challenge is the one I haven’t overcome yet…
But I’ve overcome many others…
At the age of 25, I entered one of the most prestigious studios in Milan. Even if only for a few months, it was an important experience for me even if in some ways quite hard but always in that period, I received sincere compliments from an esteemed colleague who gave me give a lot of confidence, but the biggest challenge was deciding to open my beautiful studio with my partner, it was a difficult, beautiful and unforgettable experience… you need to have the courage to know how to seize opportunities.
Being both a tattoo artist and an artist yourself, is there a specific way you need to create your art specifically for tattoo artwork?
Yes, emotions and music.
I can create and bring something out when I feel emotions. Often while I’m tattooing, painting or drawing, or listening to music and somehow, my thoughts finally stop, and I express what I feel inside, I consider myself lucky to have a musician and composer boyfriend; his work is a great benefit to mine.
Please tell me the most bizarre place someone has asked for a tattoo, and did you do it?
During my 13 years of work, I have gone through various studios, some of them truly singular like their clientele.. once a boy asked me for an inscription on his forehead with an Arial-type font.. of course, I tattooed it.
I’ve done others in bizarre places, but I don’t want to be trivial.
Where do you find inspiration for your work, either tattoo or art?
Inspiration changes continuously. Every time I have periods that follow one another, like the seasons.. it all depends on what I live in that moment, if it’s an introspective and static period or if I’m living an intense period in some new place.
Sometimes a person catches my attention, and I find myself drawing some features of the face (for a tattoo) or some details of him in some sketches … as far as I’m concerned, emotions always drive inspiration …
Have you ever taken the plunge and become a model for another artist or yourself?
Since I can remember, I have always withdrawn.
As a 12-year-old girl, I was bullied at school; they were very mean to me. Even though I defended myself, sometimes I was offended by their wickedness, so I had a pocket mirror. When I was sad, I looked at my eyes and drew them until I learned to memorize them.. drawing has always been my outlet, my escape from reality.
I also appear in other drawings of mine but not yet in a painting, even if I’ve been planning it for years.. and I’ve never been a model or muse of any other artist.
Are there any artists on Instagram who you admire?
I have followed the great painter and sculptor Chetzar for years, the psychedelic art of Alex Grey, the great Maynard James Keenan of Puscifer, and the group Die Antwoord, whose music and style I adore, and many other artists.
If you could wish for three things to come true, what would they be and why?
1) I would like to have a well-organized space of my own where I can work and paintings and other works in my head; I have many projects in my head that absolutely must see the light.
2) I’m looking for new collaborations, especially around Murcia and Barcelona. So a big wish I have is to live near a big city; nearby because I would like to live in a countryside area but still in the province of an important city to meet other artists and participate in events.
3) A great feature of mine is not using digital art at all.
Many colleagues use procreate to create their work, but I prefer using real tools.
But I see that in reality, I’m not appreciated; on the contrary, sometimes I suffer a little to see how we are evolving; once upon a time, I would have worked much easier (just think of hand-painted cinema posters) so my last wish would be to find my dimension and finally my balance that I seek so much.
Are you working on any current projects that you can tell us about?
Yes, I start almost as a joke: I had just finished a painting, and I no longer had canvases or canvas, so I took some jeans and painted them, and then I painted others, and after those, an anonymous sweatshirt that I never wore and I liked more and more, so I gave a jacket to a very sweet little girl with my little eye (created by me ), and they liked it so much that I recently opened a page with her mum to sell commissioned jackets and jeans hand painted by me. Let’s see what turn it will take.
Do you have any goals you want to achieve in the next 2 years?
At the moment, I work as a freelancer at various studios, but I would like to see myself as a resident in my environment,
I would like to see my qualities recognized and to be able to work peacefully without searching continuously but finally finding the place for me and finally being able to experiment not only as a tattoo artist but, as I said above, also in other arts such as sculpture and why not, music. In addition, I have a romantic wish, but you can’t say otherwise; it won’t come true..